Day One: I Am Not Alone
For the month of July I decided to do a cleanse. A cleanse from spending frivolously. From indulging myself with certain foods. From idolizing social media sites. And I decided to devote my breaks at work to studying God's Word. All this for the hope I will find God's will for my life. And learn some things along the way.
July 1, 2015.
Today was the first day. It was actually harder than I thought. I found myself walking through the halls of Macys (where I work) wanting thing after thing. "That sheet will look great with the colors of my room." "Oh! That pillow is sooo comfy! I can never have too many pillows!" "What?! We sell Popcornopolis Popcorn!!" I couldn't believe that these were my thoughts. How could I want so much when God has already given me all I need? As my work day progressed every time I thought of something I wanted I tried to in turn think of something I was grateful for. It's embarrassing to think about how uncontent I am with all that I have.
But honestly I think I am more embarrassed by the fact I hoped no one would come in while I was reading my Bible in the break room. I shouldn't feel this way and yet I do! Why though? Am I afraid someone might say something? Am I afraid of what people may think of me? But then I have to wonder why I care so much about what others think of me when it comes to spiritual things. I don't care if someone doesn't like my outfit or if they hate my hair. Is my relationship with God that private and personal to me that I am afraid to show it? As I've thought about this question today I realized that I am afraid people will realize that my relationship with God isn't what it should be. That's why I hide it. I don't want people to see my struggle with the fact that my relationship with God is virtually non existent. I know what to say and how to feel but my actions and thoughts aren't made by convictions they are made by my habits.
Not being on social media I had a lot more time to observe the world around me. Instead of sitting on my phone as I rode down the road with my mom I actually carried on a conversation with her about something that I didn't see on my little screen that's usually glued to my hand. Not only that but I noticed those around me and God's creation. The hurting and homeless on the side of the road, the animals and even some new restaurants. What is funny to me is that something like social media was invented to keep people more connected, but the one day I haven't used it I feel more connected to the people around me. I went grocery shopping with my mom today (first time I have done that in months, maybe even a year). As we were walking up and down the aisles I was watching those around me seeing what they were buying, wondering what their life is like. I came across this older lady looking at watermelons. I wasn't sure if she was taking forever trying to pick it up or just trying to find that perfectly ripe seedless watermelon (that I am sure she will be cutting up and having on the Fourth of July). So I just watched her. Seeing if she would just walk away, struggle to get it, or ask someone for help. After a couple minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I helped her and it seemed to make her day. Something as simple as picking up and carrying a watermelon made her day. How many missed opportunities had I miss to show God's love because I was staring at a 2" by 4" screen? It's sad. Then I think about the woman and the choices she had. We struggle with those same questions everyday. Do I turn from God? Do I even think about him when things are going great? Who will help me get through this? But all we have to do is ask Him.
As I was driving home from work today I was feeling defeated. The fact that it had only been one day and I was already struggling was so sad to think about. I was that dependent on earthly things. I decided to plug in my phone to my car and listen to my "Jesus Tunes" playlist on my Spotify hoping for some encouragement. The first song was "I Am Not Alone" by Kari Jobe. It hit me no matter how hard life gets or how defeated I feel my God is with me. I just started singing the chorus:
I am not alone, I am not alone.
You will go before me, You will never leave me.
I am not alone, I am not alone
You will go before me, You will never leave me.
You amaze me, redeem me, You call me as Your own.
You amaze me, redeem me, You call me as Your own.
You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm.
Through these trials You've always been faithful.
You bring healing to my soul.
A peace just came rushing over me. My worry was for nothing. God has my back, He always has and always will. This is His path that I am on and He is walking it with me.
Sometimes in this life it's so easy to get caught up in the things of this world. All you need is to slow down, breathe, take a step back, and call on God. He is always there and can help you with the littlest and biggest things in your life. The things you think that are "too insignificant" to bring to the Almighty God are just as important to Him as the things that we think are too huge and consume our life when we think that there is no way out. But God is always there. You are not alone. Ever.
Hebrews 13:5b-6
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"
July 1, 2015.
Today was the first day. It was actually harder than I thought. I found myself walking through the halls of Macys (where I work) wanting thing after thing. "That sheet will look great with the colors of my room." "Oh! That pillow is sooo comfy! I can never have too many pillows!" "What?! We sell Popcornopolis Popcorn!!" I couldn't believe that these were my thoughts. How could I want so much when God has already given me all I need? As my work day progressed every time I thought of something I wanted I tried to in turn think of something I was grateful for. It's embarrassing to think about how uncontent I am with all that I have.
But honestly I think I am more embarrassed by the fact I hoped no one would come in while I was reading my Bible in the break room. I shouldn't feel this way and yet I do! Why though? Am I afraid someone might say something? Am I afraid of what people may think of me? But then I have to wonder why I care so much about what others think of me when it comes to spiritual things. I don't care if someone doesn't like my outfit or if they hate my hair. Is my relationship with God that private and personal to me that I am afraid to show it? As I've thought about this question today I realized that I am afraid people will realize that my relationship with God isn't what it should be. That's why I hide it. I don't want people to see my struggle with the fact that my relationship with God is virtually non existent. I know what to say and how to feel but my actions and thoughts aren't made by convictions they are made by my habits.
Not being on social media I had a lot more time to observe the world around me. Instead of sitting on my phone as I rode down the road with my mom I actually carried on a conversation with her about something that I didn't see on my little screen that's usually glued to my hand. Not only that but I noticed those around me and God's creation. The hurting and homeless on the side of the road, the animals and even some new restaurants. What is funny to me is that something like social media was invented to keep people more connected, but the one day I haven't used it I feel more connected to the people around me. I went grocery shopping with my mom today (first time I have done that in months, maybe even a year). As we were walking up and down the aisles I was watching those around me seeing what they were buying, wondering what their life is like. I came across this older lady looking at watermelons. I wasn't sure if she was taking forever trying to pick it up or just trying to find that perfectly ripe seedless watermelon (that I am sure she will be cutting up and having on the Fourth of July). So I just watched her. Seeing if she would just walk away, struggle to get it, or ask someone for help. After a couple minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I helped her and it seemed to make her day. Something as simple as picking up and carrying a watermelon made her day. How many missed opportunities had I miss to show God's love because I was staring at a 2" by 4" screen? It's sad. Then I think about the woman and the choices she had. We struggle with those same questions everyday. Do I turn from God? Do I even think about him when things are going great? Who will help me get through this? But all we have to do is ask Him.
As I was driving home from work today I was feeling defeated. The fact that it had only been one day and I was already struggling was so sad to think about. I was that dependent on earthly things. I decided to plug in my phone to my car and listen to my "Jesus Tunes" playlist on my Spotify hoping for some encouragement. The first song was "I Am Not Alone" by Kari Jobe. It hit me no matter how hard life gets or how defeated I feel my God is with me. I just started singing the chorus:
I am not alone, I am not alone.
You will go before me, You will never leave me.
I am not alone, I am not alone
You will go before me, You will never leave me.
You amaze me, redeem me, You call me as Your own.
You amaze me, redeem me, You call me as Your own.
You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm.
Through these trials You've always been faithful.
You bring healing to my soul.
A peace just came rushing over me. My worry was for nothing. God has my back, He always has and always will. This is His path that I am on and He is walking it with me.
Sometimes in this life it's so easy to get caught up in the things of this world. All you need is to slow down, breathe, take a step back, and call on God. He is always there and can help you with the littlest and biggest things in your life. The things you think that are "too insignificant" to bring to the Almighty God are just as important to Him as the things that we think are too huge and consume our life when we think that there is no way out. But God is always there. You are not alone. Ever.
Hebrews 13:5b-6
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"
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